“DESPERATE FOR HOPE!
I wonder, if you can hear someone’s heart breaking? If you could, would you step up and help, so it wouldn’t split in two?
Day in and day out we hear stories of tragedy in our newspapers, on TV, walking down the street and so on: this can make it hard to focus on the positives in life. I know from personal experiences the only way to survive such tragedies is to somehow become numb for a time, until a firm belief in faith and hope takes over, knowing that there is a helping hand of someone who cares….somewhere out there for you.” – K. Shiels
Hi everyone, my name is Parys. I have a story to tell, “a story of incredible hardship, pain and sorrow and of joy, epiphany and inspiration.” The story is my own, how in a blink of an eye life can change and your world can be turned upside down.
At age 6 I lost my childhood innocence in the belief that nothing bad could happen in my world – overnight I had to grow up. How many of you have gone to a mall to go shopping with your family? Can you imagine your entire life changed, forever, in just one visit? Mine was. My mom, 2 year old brother and I ran out to grab balloons for my brother’s birthday party and stopped to grab a drink. Out of the blue I heard a piercing shriek, as my little Bro was struck in the head with a huge steel crate. He was thrown against the wall and then fell and hit his head on the hard floor! I thought he was dead because he had blood coming from his head and was lying so still…. just like in a crime scene of a movie with a chalk outline for a body. My brother Coltyn suffered catastrophic injuries – I never thought he would walk or talk again!
This was the end to our ‘family next door’, people were walking away, including our father. My brother’s injuries were only the start of a domino effect of traumas that would change our lives forever.
My mom wiped her tears, gave up her career and business to not only care for my brother, but advocate for disability and human rights. Our story and my mom’s success and our awards as advocates were covered in the news and magazines, but didn’t result in paid employment nor relief for our family, only for others.
I watched as she had no choice, but to sacrifice her pride, standing in line at food banks, climbing into ditches for pop bottles, and being forced to apply for Income Assistance. While on Assistance she was belittled, forced to fight Human Rights for the culture of disability, and suffered the indignity of BEGGING for medical help: not only for my brother, but for herself, as well. For example, my mom suffered severed foot ligaments, a dislocated jaw, a broken nose, etc after a city sidewalk opened up from skytrain construction – but still there was NO RELIEF! However, my mom continued to give and fight for others. She told me no matter how bad things get, there’s always someone worse off…that I needed to do something, anything, no matter how small to help someone less fortunate than myself…and to ALWAYS use my voice to stand up for something I believe in.
And, so…..K.A.R.E. was born when I was 11 years old.
The years since my brother’s injury have been filled with lessons of acceptance, poverty, family, loss of control, a feeling that no cares, and what it’s like to have and give unconditional love.
Now, 6 years later, my brother and I lead through example in our everyday lives and our actions through K.A.R.E. We hope we are setting a good example that we can all face bad things in our lives, but as mom says, “it’s the attitude that we bring to the table that will determine how it will turn out in the end”
Regardless of size of project, there is a huge impact for all – for the intended recipients, as well as for the youth working on the activities. As youth, our voices are often silenced, not taken seriously, and/or ignored altogether. K.A.R.E. gives us, as youth, a place to feel empowered through our actions of helping our community. It also gives youth hands-on work experience that can have a number of uses – for example, university applications and work experience opportunities.
Most importantly, K.A.R.E fosters in youth an awareness beyond their own “bubble world”. They can, and do, make a difference. Individuals within the community have said that our projects give others a sense of hope, a sense that someone KARES.
As a young child, I watched helplessly, as my life felt like it was being torn apart. One of the hardest parts to deal with was the lack of supports for our family and the daily acts of people who would point, stare, say mean things, trip, push, and make fun of my brother, a boy, who lost all that he was, fighting to regain a piece of himself.
My brother Coltyn is a prime example of someone who faces the world with a smile and fearless determination. He is an example of what you can accomplish when someone KARES!
My name is Coltyn and I’m 15 years old. When I was 2, I was injured really bad and the fallout from that injury was catastrophic. The years since the injury has been filled with so much more trauma, ups and downs, tears or sorrow and of joy: it’s a journey that could fill a book. I know from personal experience that life’s not fair, that it can be hard and really suck at times. However, I also know bad stuff doesn’t last forever and life can be really great… as my mom says, “don’t quit 5 minutes before the miracle”…BEE emPOWERED!
My mom, sister and I have suffered though more traumas than any family should. This included watching in agony, as I was struck down in a mall suffering severe injuries, including a traumatic brain injury. Many said, I would never do anything; I had to learn how to walk and talk again. I don’t really remember much from the accident, but I do remember the pain, frustration and how hard it was to do simple things.
You would think people would have rallied around us to help in our time of need. Some did, but most walked away. Through everything one of the hardest things was learning how to face the ‘demons’ that not only lived inside me (lack of confidence, sense of worthlessness), but also those that hid behind computer screens and the faces of ‘friends’: I never seemed to be able to escape the bullying. Lots of people thought because I was different than them, I liked different things or participated in things that were different, that it gave them the right to say mean things or abuse me in some way. It never made sense: for example, one day I would get hit because of the way I spoke, another day I would get pushed because of the way I walked, another day texts would come in saying I should have died in my accident, another day I would get comments about the way I looked, how young I was or how I played volleyball, etc…It was never ending, when one person would stop, someone else would start. It was really hard for me, I was already dealing with so much pain and traumas, but the bullying made me feel beat down like no one was there, like I had no friends… I felt worthless…it ate at my self-confidence and the sense that I belonged. However, I believe it’s in the most difficult times that you find and build a strength in yourself you never knew you had.
I was very blessed I have a great mom and sister, they were there for me, they never saw anything ‘wrong’ with me. My mom would say I just learnt differently and I was unique and only great people were unique. I know others aren’t so blessed with family, but there is always one person, a councilor, a coach, a neighbor, God, whatever, but someone that cares: if not, keep reaching out maybe you haven’t found them yet: there is no shame or weakness in reaching out until someone takes your hand or reaches out to you…you are not alone. Even though I had the support of my mom and sister, I still had to find the inner strength to fight for me, as this was my path to walk. If you don’t feel like you have anyone in your corner, realize you have yourself: your greatest strength.
At first it was so hard to say anything about how I was feeling, what I was dealing with and what people were saying to me and about me: I would write it off as a joke or I didn’t want anyone to feel bad or I was sure no one would understand, or I just didn’t want to add any more pain to my family. I had to find a safe way to confront what was going on: once I did this, I found it started to take some of the ‘power’ away from the people trying to hurt me and made me feel like I had a little more control back: this allowed me to find a sense of belonging: something I loved, that made me want to get up in the morning…for everyone it is different. My sense of belonging started with sports (especially volleyball), yours might be art, cooking, science, dance, electronics, etc: whatever it is, celebrate it, show your love for it and surround yourself with people who understand it…it may not be the first place you look, or the second, but it’s YOUR life, don’t let anyone take it from you!
My story has been told in the media a bit. At first it felt kind of strange, I felt a little embarrassed because it seemed like I was so different, I didn’t want any more judgment. However, I started to feel empowered because people started to make comments again, but nice ones: I started to feel like I wasn’t so isolated or different…I found it not only gave me hope, but others as well…I was told it helped others to feel like they weren’t alone, they felt connected… it gave them courage to face things they were going through. My mom, sister and I believe that your story (what you’ve lived through, what you’ve overcome, what you’re facing) is your power: no one can take it from you, it’s yours and yours alone…so tell it, scream it for as long as it takes till someone notices, if you feel like no one is listening. Your story can empower not only yourself, but others as well, you never know what other people are facing and your story might just give them the strength to keep going.
You never know when life is going to change, look at where I am now; in the summer I got the honor of trying out (at 14) and making (at 15) the 17U Team BC volleyball team. Not only was I the youngest to make the team, but I was also the only boy from BC to take home an All-Star.
I know there are those days where you think you’ve had enough of everything, remember there will always be times where it works out and I believe those times are worth fighting for. Never give up, keep putting one foot in front of the other: tomorrow is a new day, your day: what do YOU want from it…there is strength in grabbing your destiny, don’t let someone else’s fear, jealousy, insecurity, lack of control, or meanness take it from you!
“With each new day comes new strength and new thoughts” -Eleanor Roosevelt
“The Bumble Bee Cannot Fly.According to laws of aerodynamics the bumble bee cannot fly; It’s body is too heavy for its wings and that’ the simple reason why.But the bumble bee doesn’t know this fact, and so it flies anyway for all to see. Remember this when you’re losing faith or hopeGod’s proof that the impossible can be”A.S. Waldrop |